So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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