I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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