I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
