living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
