handjob tips. give me some.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
