I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
home. puking in laundry basket.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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