Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
