he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you would pick up someone in the library
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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