So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
