do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
