you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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