dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
