Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize