mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize