at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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