What did we do last night that was yellow?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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