The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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