The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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