Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Fuck appropriateness.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
