we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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