i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
