No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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