We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize