I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize