I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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