In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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