Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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