either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
