reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
