Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
