One girl and one boy is just not enough.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
