You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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