Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
