im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
