We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
