I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
