just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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