Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I will die if light touches me.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
whose ass print is on the piano?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
