There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
