what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize