i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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