i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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