butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
