Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
