I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize