I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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