It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize