At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
