Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
