so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize