I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
