pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
