Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
