so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he shaved USA in his pubs
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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