okay pat passed out under dana's car
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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