And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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