if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize