yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
