you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
