So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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