The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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