We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
