he shaved USA in his pubs
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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