Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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