he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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