I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
