That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
