Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
