Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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