Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
