Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
