The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
