i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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