I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
