we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
