Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
