i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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