I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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