Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize