bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It's just like the Real World with babies
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
