Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
