Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
