yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
