i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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