Please, let me fuck your mom
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
